“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has torment. He who fears is not made perfect in love.” I John 4:18
I have lived in this verse for many years. I’ve tried to love others perfectly but I was afraid of choices they could make that might hurt me. My own fear blocked the free flow of love that should be characteristic of loving relationships. I didn’t love myself, and tried to twist myself into a lesser, smaller me hoping to not irritate them, or into something that isn’t me to please them. But my limiting fears became tormenting anxieties expressed in criticism, arguments, pleadings, cryings, and panic attacks, all in a desperate effort to get them to stop doing those things that trigger my torment.
It worked sometimes, but not for long. Forced compliance is short-lived, and, like feeding wild bears, fear pacified temporarily only makes more ferocious fears. It must be conquered, pointed out, called out, cast out, and locked out, so the love can flow unhindered.
Only perfect love (complete, mature, full) is strong enough to fight fear and conquer it. In answer to my desperate prayer, God surrounded me, showed me His care for me in a fuller way than I’ve experienced before, and the fear began to melt away. I’m learning to love myself better and have stopped twisting myself into knots for others’ sake. It’s also easier to love others freely without my selfish fears in the way. I just need more.
God, please send us your perfect love. Cast out our fear, the self-centeredness that causes it, and the torment it results in. Teach us to trust you fully, to give you our concerns and insecurities, and to rest in your care and protection. Make us reservoirs and conduits of your love to bring this blessing to others. Amen.
Journal Prompt:
What are the fears that often hinder you? What do you like about yourself? Who do you need to love better? Why?
Answer in the comments.
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