“But when you pray, go away by yourself, all alone, and shut the door behind you and pray to your Father secretly, and your Father, who knows your secrets, will reward you.” Matthew 6:6 TLB
Everyone needs a secret hiding place. It can be in the house, in the yard, even in your own head. Individuality demands privacy. Sometimes you need to get away and think your own thoughts, explore personal dreams, or store your secrets. However, sometimes the things we’ve kept safely tucked away refuse to stay hidden. Individuality also seeks expression, understanding, acceptance, belonging and community. Safely navigating these two ends of being a unique human being requires careful thought and planning.
If you’re in the closet about something, be careful how you come out. Your family and friends are only human. They may have preconceived ideas, prejudice, erroneous philosophies, or limiting beliefs that need to change. They may have negative experiences, fears, or traumas that unfairly affect their perception of you. They may have hopes and dreams for you that aren’t built on an honest understanding or full acceptance of who you truly are or what you’re capable of becoming.
It is only natural for them to be shocked when their ideas, experiences, and expectations get broken suddenly. Their faces, words, voices, and actions express externally whatever pain is happening inside. This shock can produce physical and psychological reactions that can be measured and labeled medically. They may reject what you’re saying because they don’t know how to accept what your news means or suggests, but it isn’t the same thing as rejecting you. If they do react poorly, it is natural. It takes extreme self discipline, which most humans don’t practice, to control their expressions while under this kind of shock. However, this can be avoided or minimized.
Instead, before you come out of the closet, meet Jesus in the closet. He isn’t surprised by your secrets. He loves you anyway and desires your best outcome. Receive His love. Right there in the closet. Know that you are loved and forgiven already, but you have to choose it, to ask for it, to accept it as true for yourself. Resist the doubts in your head, the bad memories from your past, the naysayers in your life. Choose to believe God loves you no matter what you are or what you’ve have done. Believe it.
God, you know me. You see me. You love me. Thank you for being with me. I have something to tell you. I don’t want to keep secrets from you anymore. Please listen and help me find words. Help me know how to think and feel about it, and what to do about it. With your love I can be or do anything.
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