“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15 KJV
Some readers may feel that what I’m proposing is too much like leniency. This full forgiveness means you will have to trust God’s invisible grace, and release your rights to get out of your brother all you deserve. This can be scary, frustrating, or confusing, especially if you’re hearing this for the first time. It can feel risky or dangerous, unfair or unjust, the opposite of all you’ve been taught by your parents, pastors, or social groups.
Please don’t misunderstand me. After you’ve forgiven someone so freely, they are not free to continue to hurt you, themselves, or others again. But the chances are they aren’t yet able to make better choices or will fail many times before they get it right. Yet managing their continued failure is was never your concern or your job. You’re free and abundant in Christ! If you do get hurt again, you know exactly Who to call, what to do, and what to expect. You can go to Christ in prayer, pour out your heart and listen, expecting a fresh batch of love and grace for this newest situation. You get happier, stronger, and more resilient when you go to Christ to forgive someone.
Now, be assured, Christ will deal with them as they need it. The mercy of God much more abounds over sin, but we still reap what we have sown. Minimize the chance for them to continue sowing evil in your life, racking up an evil harvest they will have to reap later. Of course, protect your life, health, and peace of mind. Allowing or creating some distance in the relationship for a time may be required. In some cases, this may be difficult, heartbreaking, or dangerous to do, but God will direct you according to your unique situation.
If you do need to stay in a bad relationship, God will show you how to protect yourself. Christ was not a weakling or a doormat. He followed the path his Father made plain to him, and did not volunteer for unnecessary suffering. By controlling His spirit and His response under provocation, He demonstrated His greater power over His abusers. Christ will show you how to do this as well. But that is a lesson for another time!
Now you can release your rights and claims to payback, trusting God’s merciful justice to balance it all out.
God, You not only forgive me freely, You help me forgive others freely, and You show me how to be strong when I am wronged! What they have taken from me, You replace with so much more! What power is this? I’m not sure, but I need it, with more than enough to share and to spare. Amen.
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