“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”Proverbs 4:23 NIV
I’ve read this verse for decades and am just now understanding it. Your heart means your inner self: your thoughts, feelings, subconscious awareness, hidden motives, and unknown agendas. I know what the heart is, I know that all of life flows from the heart, but I didn’t know how to guard it. But I do now.
In my early adulthood, I used to ignore my intuition, dismiss my senses, and disqualify my emotions in favor of other people’s. I took care of everyone else’s “emergencies” at my expense. I thought the resulting pain was just part of the process, the cost of love, the expected requirements of a Christian wife, mother, and church officer. I might mention my problems to others, hoping they would treat me as I treated them, but I’d frequently be disappointed. Yet I kept smiling and serving. Over the years the stress I was masking turned toxic and started leaking onto my health, work, and relationships.
Then a few years ago everything fell apart. I couldn’t hold it all together anymore. In less than a year, my health declined, my mother passed, my marriage took a turn, and my finances failed. In that moment, Jesus caught me. He held my hand and let me cry. Big, giant, heart-wrenching tears. I hadn’t cried that hard since childhood. But I learned then that I’m not alone or without help. I’m loved and chosen. I can start over. I will be okay.
Then Jesus began to put my broken pieces back together again, better and stronger than before. He helped me face my fears, silence my shame, shift my habits, confront my monsters, and banish my demons, all while reclaiming and proclaiming my identity and strength. I know what I am and why, who I choose to be, and what I need to be my best. Piece by piece He is making my heart and mind the masterpiece He promised. And that experience is worth guarding…
God, thank you for healing my heart and teaching me to treasure it. Heal those who are reading this post and teach them, too. Help us guard our hearts so we can serve you better. In Jesus name, Amen.
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